Rules for the Real Worlders

Hi! Thanks for stopping by. Here are some ground rules, if I know you in real life.

1. Yes, I probably blogged about you.

Don't like it? Tough.

I blog about my life. You're part of my life, so you're fair game. If you and I do something you don't want your mom to know about, you shouldn't have given your mom this blog address. I haven't given it to mine.

If I've posted a picture of you, though, that you would rather not have floating around in cyberspace, let me know. I'll take down the picture or put a blue dot on your face or something.

2. Hey, that's mean.

If I hurt your feelings with something on the blog, allow me to belatedly or pre-emptively apologize.

A. I'm sorry.

B. I wasn't actually talking about you. It was my other friend Beverly. Whose home I visited on Thursday night. At 8pm. Really. I went to her house after I left yours. Funny coincidence, huh?

C. Get over yourself already, for the love of god.

How's this for mean? "Your blog is a strange combination of boring and overly personal." This is my biggest worry about what I write.

3. That looks familiar. Did you write that to me in an email?

Probably. And then I wrote a post about it. It's not plagiarism if I steal it from myself.

4. Why isn't there more about me in the blog?

A. Because this blog is about me, dammit. Get your own blog.

B. You're just not that interesting. Do something noteworthy or amusing and I'll write about you. That goes for you, too, Lumpyhead.

I don't use anyone's last name in the blog, and I might have used a nickname for you. Don't like your nickname? Too bad. It's what we all call you behind your back anyway. So now you know.

Electricyoak, I'm planning to post some of our IM conversations at some point, because our IM conversations crack my shit up.

5. Comments

Please please please leave comments. It makes me very happy, and reassures me that someone is reading my endless babbling. (Honestly, you don't even have to read the blog entry when I get boring. Just leave a comment and I'll be delighted and glow like a firefly all day.)

Anonymity

The internet can be a scary place, though, so I've chosen not to use my name, the baby's name, or Bump's. Please use our handles when making comments, or I'll delete your ass.

Don't be mean.

Only I get to be mean. Okay, you can be a little mean. But just be aware that if you leave a snarky comment about Ashley's new haircut, Ashley may stop by and see it. She didn't sign up for meanness, so I may delete your ass.

As Amalah says, "Freedom of speech is awesome, but ruling your own comment section with an iron fist is awesomer." Indeed. By the way, if you don't read Amalah, you should. She also cracks my shit up.