Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Git Off My Lawn

As I waited in the security line yesterday, three young women were chatting behind me. It's a staff-only door, which means the line moves pretty quickly, but also means those crazy kids were gainfully employed and not interns.

One had a date that night - with Dylan! - and everyone was very excited.

How did I get this old? Just the thought of dating made me feel ancient and very tired. And how did boys named Dylan get old enough to ask girls out? Jeez.


When did I turn elderly? Do you remember when someone would ask "You know what I don't get?" and you would automatically mutter "Laid very often?" and it was HILARIOUS?

Yeah. Now I cannot even think of an instance in which - or an acquaintance with whom - that would be even a little bit funny. It would either be an indictment of your marriage, or an insulting reminder that you're unhappily single, and it would be just plain mean instead of a good-natured ribbing.


At least I still think farts are funny.

I think that makes me immature and old.