Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Summer Activities

Last year I made a list of summer activities, for Bump and the tormentors to consult should the "I'm bored" chorus become too much for Bump to bear.
 It was even double-sided.
It was used approximately ZERO times.

The image I have in my head when I'm at work, of stir-crazy summer days with idle hands and grumpy slouching, is actually harried hours full of errands and lunchtime and playdates and snacks and pool visits. They rarely search for "activities," and when they do, "watch TV" works just fine.

But I made a list, dammit.

And for some baffling reason, I thought I should update it this year. Because it was so useful last year.

I did a google search and clicked a random link and went here:

Cork stamping.

And I laughed and laughed and laughed.

I imagined ruined clothing, furniture, and carpeting. Permanently stained fingers and faces.

The next project was chocolate pudding "potted plants" and I envisioned sneering faces and revolted grimaces.

For a moment I considered attempting each of these activities and posting the hilarious results, side-by-side with Martha's artful presentations. "Adorable butterfly cupcakes" and "tic-tac-towel," my ass.

Then I realized that in order to do cork stamping, we would need corks.

Lots of lots of corks.

Which means you would have to come to my house and help me drink lots of wine.

Camp Lumpyhead is totally taking on cork stamping this summer, bitches.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012


How ya doing? The name's Nathan Jr. How's your day going?