Monday, January 30, 2012

I Bet Netflix Has Erratic Handwriting

Netflix is totally turning into that tragic crazy chic from college, isn't it? First it was all those drunk emails from Reed whatshisname (I'm raising prices! I'm splitting into two companies! Why don't the boys think I'm pretty?) and lately I feel like Netflix is threatening me. Those emails entitled "How was the picture quality on ______?" feel slightly menacing. I'm monitoring your viewing habits, and I'm ready to tell your spouse about them at any time. Don't think you can just stream Mannequin 2, then delete it from your queue before she sees it. Don't you take me for granted, dammit. I'm cuter and thinner than she is. Wait, don't run, I bought you some flowers. . .

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Lego Ninjago

Are your kids as into this as mine are? Oh, the love. They can't wait until Wednesday night, when the next episode airs. Even Lula is hooked, rooting for the little sister who kicks ass and is promised that with patience, she will also be rewarded.

We watched some of the videos on the Lego website, and things took a turn for the unfortunate. There's a clip of the girl character, right properly kicking butt while one of the boys waits outside, trying to muster the courage to ask her out. When he hears a sign of trouble and swoops in to help, she's already taken out the bad guys (and has a pretty new bracelet too). The bad guys are mortified that they have been "beaten by a girl," but they're bad guys and not very bright, so it's possible to spin that into a not horrible moment. But why is this clip on the website, and not in the show itself? Scared of alienating the boy audience, are we Lego? ("I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49, everybody listens to me. Ah, nuts and gum, together at last.")

I'm willing to let it go, time constraints, maximizing the target audience and all, but in the next clip the girl character calls her brother "Stupid," and well, let's just say my children reacted as though she had just called him a Fucking Fuckwad. No, wait, it would have actually been better if she had called him a Fucking Fuckwad. Because in my house, stupid is a very powerful word that we might, in very dire circumstances, use to describe things; but not ever, ever use to describe people. And Nya, the only character Lego has given my daughter to identify with, drops the S-bomb on her brother. Bravo.

You know, the last time I used the word stupid in my house was to describe the new "Girl Legos," come to think of it. I told a friend that "making some of the bricks pink and making the minifigures look stupid is not the key to grabbing a girl audience." Lumpyhead was in the room and looked at me very gravely and whispered "You said stupid," and I retorted "and that's what I meant" and he trumpeted "I think they're stupid too" and we had to talk about things grown ups can do but kids can't. Like drink beer. So thanks for that.

So, what's my point? I don't have a point. I've been sick for three days and the nyquill has only half kicked-in and I can't get that damn theme song out of my head. Oh, and Nathan Jr is using everything he can get his hands on to spinjitsu his brother and sister, so we've got gold stars for brilliance all over this damn joint. Bring me some tea.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

If Lucas Hadn't Sold Pixar

I'm not sure Lumpyhead is aware of the backstory, but eventually everything runs together in his head anyway.

I give you the SCARIEST of the Sith Lords:
Darth Zurg

He's evil. (Obviously) You can tell by the eyebrows.

Monday, January 23, 2012

This Is Why You Should Not Have a Blog

There seems to be a natural lull in parent blogging when the children reach a certain age. Maybe it's because the stories are no longer yours, or because you get a glimmer of life aside from parenting, or because once you step away from the habit it's hard to take it up again.

It's not just that I haven't been posting here. I haven't been reading elsewhere, either. My days are full and when I get home I just can't find the urge to sit back down in front of the screen.

But I miss the community that accompanies blogging. I miss you guys. Today I had a spare moment and used it to catch up with some of you.

And you broke my heart.

When last I checked, Susan was going to Cars 2 and space conferences. She was cutting a foam egg crate on twitter. I clicked over to her blog and had one of those "Wait, where am I?" moments.

You should not have a blog because you eventually neglect it. You should not have a blog because through it you make connections with dear friends who write beautifully. You should not have a blog because on a Monday morning you will have to close your door and cry.