Thursday, March 16, 2006

Look at Me! I'm Totally Judging You!

Sarah left a comment on Mom-101 yesterday about something I said - and after I read her comment, I remembered saying it. (I must have said it toward the end of that second big glass of Ch√Ęteauneuf du Pape.) I don't remember how I said it exactly, but the idea is this: when you take some Me Time - some time to decompress and relax - you're a better parent.

I know it's hard for parents to take time for themselves. Aunt Bob talked about it a little in her very first post, and I'm sure it's true for all parents - moms and dads, stay-at-home and go-to-work. When you're not with Precious Angel, you feel guilty. When you're with Precious Angel, you wish he'd take a nap already because your head is filled with all the other things you have to do and you wonder how those dishes are going to get done.

I find I'm much more likely to let Lumpyhead just play at my feet by himself when I go straight from work to traffic to mommy. If I've had some buffer time, I give him my full attention. I'll play with him, instead of just giving him a toy to chew on. I act more like the mom I want to be. I can be more focused on him if I've had some blank time to do something I don't have to do. Like look through a catalog. Or paint my toenails. Or do a last Saturday's sudoku.

Maybe this isn't true for everyone. Maybe you can juggle it all and be happy and engaged full-time, and if that's the case, good for you. (actually, no. Fuck you. You're ruining it for the rest of us.)

I know that Me Time isn't always possible. I worry that Bump doesn't get enough time to for himself as it is, and if I'm taking Me Time, it means more Daddy Time for him. In fact, I'm feeling like quite the brat just writing this. It's all a balancing act, I guess, but I'll close with this:

I see you, being a martyr. I don't like it. I think you should take some time for yourself, or I'll call you a Bad Mom (or Bad Dad). So there.

1 comment:

mo-wo said...

I have been home with my daughter for a week and notice I struggle to give her my full attention sometimes. When I was on the all SAHM stretch _- under 10mos.... I had it firing all the time it seemed.

I think it comes and goes related to Moms and the sprogs, mindsets. But likely I am just talkin' crap as my regularly scheduled me-time from this AM was devoured by a family trip to Home Depot!