Rambling Idiot Mode, On

I had Cracker Jacks with lunch today, and the little prize? Lame.

I’m not sure what I was expecting, exactly, but the beaver pencil topper is really dumb. See?


(I’m sure “beaver pencil topper” is gonna get the creepy google hits flowing.)

I seem to remember Cracker Jack prizes being kinda cool, so either I’m just remembering wrong or the Cracker Jack people have gotten chintzy on us. Also, Cracker Jacks come in a bag now, instead of a box.

What is the proper plural use of Cracker Jack? Did I get a bag of Cracker Jack, or Cracker Jacks? If I got a bag of Cracker Jack, would several bags be Cracker Jacks? Or is it like deer?

And what’s the deal with the baseball song? Is it “buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack” or “buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks”? I sing “Jacks”, but “Jack” is a better rhyme with “back.” While I’m on the song, why would you want peanuts and Cracker Jacks? Cracker Jacks have peanuts in them, what’s with the peanut redundancy?

I wrote a letter once to the Cracker Jack people about this, but they never got back to me.

Bastards.

And the website? No help. (Although I admit I read it pretty quickly.)

I’ve gotta say, for my snack dollar? Cracker Jack? Not so much. I think I prefer Crunch N Munch or Poppycock for my popcorn and peanuts with caramely-toffee coating.

Okay, one more thing. Sailor Jack and Bingo, those twits on the Cracker Jack label? Not cute at all compared to this:

Yes, we dressed our son in a sailor suit. And took his picture had his picture taken. Shut UP. It’s funny.