Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Good Lord, Woman

Why are you referring to your child as Lumpyhead?

It seems all the cool kids in bloggerland have nicknames for their offspring, and I’m just trying to fit in.


Lumpyhead's noggin has never been perfectly round. When he was born, he had a wicked conehead, with a bit of a twist. He needed some vacuum help to emerge, and because he wasn't exactly face-down - he was facing 4 or 5 o'clock instead of 6 o'clock - his little vacuum spot was on the left side of his head.

We started calling him "Soft Serve," to my Other-in-law's horror. She insisted we stop calling him that.

At Lumpyhead's two-month appointment, the pediatrican noticed a flat spot. She suggested aggressive repositioning, which we didn't have much luck with, but that's probably when we started calling him "Lil Ol Lumpahed." At the four-month appointment, the doctor recommended a helmet, and Lumpyhead was diagnosed with positional plagiocephaly. That's a scary term for "the flat spot lots of newborns develop on their heads because they're put to sleep on their backs." Not serious, and the insurance company says treatment for it is cosmetic, but if left unaddressed it could result in sinus or jaw issues for the baby in the future.

Lumpyhead has been sporting a helmet since October 28 from these nice folks, and the good news - received this afternoon - is that he doesn't have to wear his helmet anymore! His lumpy head is as close to round as it's gonna get. It is, of course, still lumpy, so he's not losing the name, just the helmet.

1 comment:

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I think it is hilarious. But then again, I've never had much of a highbrow sense of humor.