On Friday afternoon, Bump, Lumpyhead and I went back to downtown Old Orchard Beach ("downtown?" "the midway?" I don't know what its proper title is, but it's where all the rides and greasy nibbles are). I ordered another corn dog and Bump took Lumpyhead on the carousel.
I had some pizza, which Lumpyhead enjoyed mightily. When he had finished the last bit, and I opened my hands to show him there was none left, he looked at me like I'd just sold him to the highest bidder. "You will betray me thusly, Woman?!" he shrieked. He stared at me in horror as I wiped the leftover pizza grease from under my fingernails. "Well, at least give me some of the grease! How can you do this to me?"
We almost bought another slice, just for him.
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On Saturday, Bump's uncle, aunt and cousin joined us. The entire ordeal was complete chaos. Bump's grandmother was there as well, so the thirteen of us descended onto a dive bar next to the beach for lunch. I ordered a cheeseburger, which arrived raw, and Bump's brother-in-law Jack may still be waiting for his hot dog. I did not eat the burger. Bump plowed through his, realizing halfway through that the lettuce and tomatoes were warmer than the meat. At least the fries were good.
That night, I skipped dinner and the evening festivities because I was sick. You'll note: no corn dog. Coincidence? I think not.
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Yesterday, Bump, Jack and I played a round of golf in the morning while Bump's mom watched Lumpyhead. Last night we went to Bump's sister's for a cookout with Jack's family. Including Lumpyhead, Denise, and Denefyoo, there were eight children under 10 there. Good God.
The dinner was a fabulous chinese-style barbeque. Ribs, yes; corn dogs, no. By the time we returned to Bump's mother's place I was putting the retch back in wretched.
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Today looks to be rainy, so I'm not sure what we'll do with the kids when Denise and Denefyoo arrive. But you can bet your ass I'm getting a damn corn dog before the day is done.
2 comments:
Just stop that. Now I want a corn dog. And it is 10:44am here.
As you know, I love the corn dog. I am totally willing to believe that they are anti-nausea medication. I'm even willing to fry them up on little skewers as you once did when we were living in the "Den of Delinquincy." Hope the dogs help.
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