Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A Wish List in Seven Parts

I would like . . .

1. a little more patience.

I try to be nice to tourists, but when there's a ten-minute backup at the office door because a pack of visitors can't figure out how to go through security, it's hard to be charitable. Seriously, you're going to take three minutes to dig all the change out of your pockets but then walk through the metal detector with your cell phone or camera or can of Coke? Seriously? Also, it's before nine in the damn morning! How do you have that much change in your pockets already? Did you put a twenty in the farecard machine and buy a single ride pass?

I sighed a lot, which is an annoying way to start the day.

2. to post a comment on someone else's site without noticing a typo immediately.

I swear I preview these things, but don't see my error until after I've hit the publish button. Then I send some flailing email or follow-up post about a correction.

"Oh look, the Grammar Idiot posted a comment again," says the author, rolling his or her eyes.

3. to have down time without missing the baby.

I've gone on record about how Me Time is important, but I feel guilty when I take it. I recognize it's crucial to maintaining my sanity, so why the guilt? Why, when I've left the child in the hands of a fantastic caregiver to do something I've been eagerly anticipating for a long time, do I still miss him?

4. to sleep for several consecutive, uninterrupted hours.

I know, I know, you other parents can stop laughing now. Lumpyhead is not sleeping through the night. Bump and I are debating letting him cry it out, a debate which lasts about a minute and a half. It just seems so . . . mean. I know it's not. I know the boy needs to learn to put himself to sleep. We just can't do it.

I wasn't going to be one of those mothers - one of those mothers who can't bear to hear her baby cry. I would be disciplined. I would be strong.

Snort. I was also not going to be one of those mothers who sits in the back seat with the baby, leaving the front passenger seat empty. "That's just dumb," I thought. "Plus, I get carsick in the back seat." Except that, yeah, I totally sit in the back with Lumpyhead. I'm a sucker.

5. for the boy to poop.

There is some progress on this front. Lumpyhead has been on a poop schedule of every five days for awhile, but we had a little poop Sunday, a full two days ahead of the timetable. Yesterday, a little more poop. Perhaps this is the start of something new? (So much for the hopes of the blog not being about poop all the time.)

6. a good idea for Bump's birthday present.

Bump's birthday isn't until August, so I'm thinking ahead, but right now? I got nothing. I was thinking about getting him a nano, but since we can't even get a handle on the camcorder technology, that might be asking a bit much. Any thoughts? I'm looking at you, internet boys/new dads. What do you want for your birthday? Help a mother out.

7. to stop sneezing.

Allergic rhinitis? Is that you? I haven't seen you in awhile, Old Friend. I forgot how much you bug me, and now I wish I could get out of this little reunion. The DC pollen count is silly high, and I'm allergic to grass and trees. I haven't been taking anything for it, because I'm not sure I'm ready to stop producing milk. Lumpyhead is almost one, we've got plenty of frozen milk stored, but I'm just not sure I'm ready to stop. So, I sneeze. I'm stuck, it stinks, and it's really just my own damn fault. You know how that is? Like when you fart in the shower.


Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

A short essay on #4:

I wasn't going to be one of those parents that let their kids cry. It seemed mean. I was going to cosleep. I didn't care who said I was going to roll over and smother my babies (not that I actually slept at all those first six months).

When I was pregnant I read in a book (most likely Dr. Sears) that a woman from somewhere leas industrialized said "I heard that American women make their babies sleep in cages". I cried and cried and cried (I was pregnant).

Now I let them cry (sometimes) in their cages, I mean cribs. Mine are almost two and we have had a total of three nights in 23 months that both kids have slept through the night. And one of those nights Klaus wouldn't stop throwing up. So believe you me - I am not laughing at you for number 4.

On Number 6: I would want #4.

daddy in a strange land said...

La dra. gave me a 30 gig iPod video for my birthday, and I'm doing okay--and remember, I'm the guy who didn't blog till iWeb 'cause I don't do anything but point-click-drag.

Also, on the SAHD tip, don't know what he's using at the moment, but I highly recommend the Baby Bandolier, www.duds4dads.com. Yes, it's sorta dorky and reminiscent of a fanny pack worn in the front, but I use it everyday (got it from la dra. last dad's day). No more wallet holes in my jeans' back pocket, no more searching for stuff under stuff in a bigger diaper bag (individual compartments).

Is he a t.v. guy? Do you have TiVo?

And there's always the "time off doing something he can't do with Lumpyhead" thing. :)

Dutch said...

don't you get to ride in the super awesome trains under the capitol and skip the tourist lines?

and there is a balance with the crying it out. we learned that the hard way, but you can do it without causing too much trauma. although I don't believe for a second that it doesn't cause ANY trauma.

Mom101 said...

Short of the sneezing, we have the exact same wish list. How odd is that? especially the part about the impatience with tourists. As a fairly frequent business traveler, I always get stuck behind the people in the airport security line who haven't traveled since 1984 and are like, "really? You need my shoes off?"

Sara said...

About the sneezing, you'll think this is pretty weird, but a friend of mine swears by this and got me started using one, too. It has actually helped my continuous sneezing, but you have to use it every day. If I miss a day, the sneezing comes back.


It's actually fairly unpleasant, but it works for me. And it won't dry up your milk!

Becky said...

You mean there's something OTHER than poop? I thought that was the meaning of life.