Lumpyhead Bumpahead

Lumpyhead's lumpy head took some lumps this past weekend.

1) We were feeding the fish at Aunt Bob's when Lumpyhead lunged at the fishtank. He clunked his head on the corner of the tank, producing a sad little red line above his left eye.

2) While cruising on the ottoman, Lumpyhead took a header into the loveseat. He has a nice round red spot squarely between the eyes. He managed to scrape a little skin.
And the Misadventures of Baby Destructo Disastro continue.

We set up the Pack-n-Play in the living room as an alternative safe place to deposit Lumpyhead for a minute or two - like when we have to pee. We'd been using his crib (as the safe deposit box, not to pee in), but the crib is suddenly horrible to Lumpyhead. Placement in the awful terrible Crib of Injustice spawns immediate caterwauling, so we needed a new spot. We call the Pack-n-Play his "cage." Because "kennel" seemed crass.

Bump's cousin gave us some roly-poly shot glasses. We never use them, but they're cute - and they remind me of his cousin, who was sweet to get us a gift for no reason. We keep them on a pewter plate on the china cabinet - in front of which sits Lumpyhead's cage.

You know where this is going, right?

Yesterday afternoon, while he was in his cage, Lumpyhead managed to pull the plate of six shot glasses into his cage. I assume there was much crashing and tinkling and crunching. Bump was in the kitchen when it happened, and raced to the cage to see Lumpyhead with a shard of broken glass in his hand.

I came home last night to a shaken Bump and a perfectly intact baby. Also a cage full of broken glass. I cut myself - enough to produce a respectable amount of blood - twice while cleaning up the cage. After an obsessive amount of vacuuming and wiping and more vacuuming and one-more-wipe-just-to-make-sure and more vacuuming, I'm pretty sure the cage is now shard-free.

The baby doesn't have a nick on him, which is pretty amazing. Bump is counting his blessings that he was in the kitchen when it happened and not in the can or something. He managed to intercept the broken glass in Lumpyhead's hand before it went into his mouth, which is also some sort of miracle, as everything the boy touches inevitably makes its way into his mouth now.

I still have no idea how Lumpyhead managed to reach that plate. I can't believe that shelf was within the Zone of Destruction. The boy is taller than we think, I guess, and can stretch and reach like a champ.

In conclusion, even though it has nothing to do with the rest of the post:


Lumpyhead got these in his easter basket from Nana V. Yep, they're plush Peeps. They rock.