Tuesday, January 06, 2009

What Barack Obama Needs Most As President

When the 44th President is sworn into office on January 20, he will immediately face huge challenges. A crippled economy, a nation in the grips of a recession, two wars, record budget deficits, a health care system in crisis, and entitlement programs facing impending bankruptcy.

I expect him to set forth a vision for a new America and back up that vision with a realistic budget plan.

Putting America back on track will be hard work. It will require public support. A willing media. A cooperative Congress. And most of all: pacifiers.

Yep. Pacifiers.

They're what President Obama needs to conquer the nation's problems.

It won't be easy. It won't be for the faint-hearted. But for little girls who are turning two on January 23, it will be required.

Yes, Dear Lula, Barack Obama needs your pacifier.

Are you a patriot? A patriot who can part with her pacifier at night and at naptime? Because the President-elect called, and he needs that pacifier more than you.

This message paid for by Mothers Who Believe the Toddler No Longer Needs That Damn Thing in her Mouth.


jen renee said...

oh my goodness, I think he's going to need Lotus' pacifier as well. I'll let her know immediately.

Michele said...

It's a damn good thing he didnt get elected until now, because my boys would have had to go to Guantanamo as Anti-American. They gave them up during the day at daycare at 18 mos, per daycare rules. At home was a different story. Then we banned them during the day at home at age 2.5 and they were like two smack addicts begging to go to bed earlier and earlier for their silicone nipple fix.
We tried every kind of bribe, theme, incentive/threat in the world to no avail. Finally, for whatever reason at about 3ish, they ceremoniously tossed them in the trash - completely unprompted - and we have not seen or heard a word about them since. Of course this was also right around the time of the Dem convention. Maybe they already knew what was to come.

Nancy said...

That's brilliant. I've known toddlers who donated their pacis to new babies who needed them, but I never thought that the President-Elect might need one too.

Em said...

Be sure and let us know how she takes the news.

Teresita said...

Maybe a compromise? You get her a haircut so she can actually see where she is - and then she give up her paci.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

It is as if she doesn't love her country.


MoD said...

You are awesome. Love this post. We've lost all of our nuks - yes, lost, really - but we would happily donate them to the cause has we not honestly lost them all.