Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Notes on the Inauguration

Yesterday was a great day in America. Here are my observations on the festivities, in no particular order.

- If you voted against a Supreme Court Justice's confirmation, but he becomes the Chief Justice anyway, don't let him administer your oath of office. If he has to do it because the Constitution says so, insist he use a notecard or something.

- My husband was immediately bothered by the line "Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath." If my Math Geek husband can figure out that something is wrong with that line, surely someone else could have caught the error. Maybe the speechwriting staff should have number-checked the inaugural address. Darn you, Grover Cleveland, with your non-consecutive terms.

- Sarah now has staff to take her photos and make her oatmeal. She also insists on carrying her friends' faces around on little sticks. I'm starting to worry about her.

- Wearing a bridesmaid's dress from ten years ago requires more undergarments than the first time around. I'm thinking along the lines of "foundation shapewear" but what I really mean is "a girdle so powerful it requires a structural engineer." Also, if you lose all sense of reality and ignore the laws of physics and gravity long enough to buy the Infinity bra, have a back-up plan. Because the Infinity bra does not perform as advertised, and when you find that out you will feel like an idiot for thinking it might work in the first place. You'll also be stuck with a goofy bra that doesn't stick on for long enough to zip up your dress, and you will have no choice but to go commando-on-top (which might have worked fine ten years ago is not a great option three kids later). But with good pasties and enough champagne - plus a reliable babysitter and a hot date - even a nursing mom can attend a ball.
Also: if you look drunk in a photograph, it's probably because you are.

7 comments:

Mamma said...

Duct tape and band-aids...duct tape and band-aids.

De in D.C. said...

You guys look fabulous! I hate to think how many $8 glasses of wine it took to get drunk though.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Awww... you guys are so pretty. (and handsome)

Now watch it or I'll start carrying your face around on a stick.

Melissa said...

That Cleveland! Always screwing somebody over.

Aunt Bob (also pictured) said...

De -- No $8 glasses of wine. At the SC pre-inaugural gala, the bar is open.

Also, it is worth noting that Bump's jacket is velvet and was compared favorably to several gay men's tuxes today. He's the Michelle Obama of stay-at-home-dads!!

mo-wo said...

So worth it for the Aunt Bob comment.

And, girdles.. yeah I think the timing of Mad Men was a gift from God!

Em said...

Bump has always been the fashion plate!