Friday, June 02, 2006

Random Shit and A Fan - A Postmortem

The long-awaited results of the Inaugural Drinking Game Challenge are here!

The verdict: lame.

Rather, Lame.

Yes, with a capital "L."

If we had absolutely nothing else to do, I suppose it would be a good way to kill a few hours (and a few dollars worth of United States postage).

Special thanks to Aunt Bob and Sarah, who helped road test the game.

Here are the assembled game pieces (and Aunt Bob).
We filled the mug half-full with water, because we didn't have any coffee and we thought water would be neater. We also didn't have a desk fan, so we used a full-sized one.

Here's another photo, complete with the Idiots Trying the Game and some offspring:
This is Sarah's photo, which is better. I look dumber, but it's a better shot of the equipment. Plus, it's got more offspring:
I began as the Arranger/Chooser/Fan Turner-Oner, and affixed thusly:
The plain post-it note is on the top, the water-dipped one is at 3 o'clock, and the one with hand sanitizer on it is at 8 o'clock. I don't remember which postage stamps are which, but there's a naked one, a water-dipped one, and one with hand sanitizer on it. Didn't I do a lovely job of arranging? (Drink one for this, if you're playing along at home. We forgot to toast me and my lovely job of arranging when we played; I feel like such a chump.)

The fan was on when I plugged it in (oops) thanks to tiny fingers, so we got a preview of how things would work (Cheaters!). Based on our ill-gotten information, I chose the post-it dipped in water, Sarah chose the post-it with antibac, and Aunt Bob took the naked post-it by default. We could tell the stamps weren't going anywhere.

Here's the full photo of the above shot from Sarah. It's right before I powered up the fan. Can you feel the excitement? The anticipation? Look, Aunt Bob is reaching for her beer.I turned on the fan (again) and we drank. Sarah took a great action shot, no?
I know it looks like I'm going to win, but in a shocking upset, Aunt Bob's post-it flew off first, with Sarah's and mine flying off pretty immediately thereafter. Serves us right for cheating. I think mine came off a millisecond before Sarah's.

We only played once, even though the rules specify that each player gets to be the Sticker/Arranger/Fan Operator, but 1) the game is lame and 2) there were thirty tiny fingers jockeying for the chance to be hacked off by the fan (it would have been forty, but Lumpyhead was in bed). So we put the tempting, tempting Fan of Finger Off-Hacking away.

Side Note: I made a mess when I stopped drinking rather suddenly and my beer foamed up. (Party foul! Drink.) I thought the items would take longer to blow off.

Lesson: We learned that pink post-its plus antibacterial hand sanitizer equals pink stains on hardwood floors. Sorry Aunt Bob and Pete.

Because I am the World's Worst Dogsitter, I know that germ-free pink post-it stains are not the worst thing to ever happen under Aunt Bob and Pete's dining room table (uh, yeah. Sorry about that, too) but I still felt bad.

Here's a helpful hint, if you try this yourself: Don't use neon post-it notes. (I don't know why in the world you would try this yourself, but I feel it's an important lesson that needs to be learned only once, you know?)

It's probably a good thing we only had three players, because if someone had to choose one of the stamps, they might still be drinking now. A week later.

The stamps were just fine after playing one round [Dutchness alert] so I dried them off and saved them for use as actual postage later.

Here's hoping Fork You (coming next week - jeez, with all this buildup it's going to be a crushing disappointment) is better. Hell, it can't be any worse.

Oooh, I forgot to tell you, because you would be all jealous and probably say mean things about me behind my back: I'm meeting Daddy in a Strange Land today! Live and in person! Family from a Strange Land is in town for a wedding, so I'll be meeting la dra. and The Pumpkin too.

Are you jealous? I know you are.

(Look, I distracted you from my bad drinking game by the shiny, sparkly news of meeting another blogger! But then I just reminded you of it again. Crap.)

5 comments:

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Well, I've played better drinking games, but at least we tried.

I'm ready for the next one.

Have fun with Daddy in a Strange Land! (That would sound really freaking dirty if you hadn't read the entire post).

Michele said...

Sorry "Random Shit and a Fan" was such a disappointment, but I admire your tenacity. You are the MacGiver of drinking games.

Michele said...

PS - whose house is this? Why are their still snowmen on the refrigerator? Geez, my snowmen came down, like, at least a week or two ago.

Lumpyheadsmom said...

This is Aunt Bob's house (mine is waaaay too small for six adults and four children).

The snowmen are timeless art pieces, not seasonal decorations.

Gidge said...

I think you should have Gabe and his friends the Pneumatic Tools make up some games for you.
You guys need help.