Because The Stick Said So Last Weekend

or Reasons I’m Not Pregnant

I don’t feel pregnant. (Really. And I oughtta know, right? Plus the stick thing is pretty iron-clad evidence.)

I’m not light-headed. (Except for that tunnel-vision thing, but that was because I was so tired I couldn’t see straight.)

[TMI alert] No boob tenderness. (Sorry Electricyoak, just forget I said that.)

I’ve gone to bed really early the last couple of nights, but my sleep schedule is all out-of-whack. (I went to bed too late a couple of other nights. But did I nap on those days?)

I felt nauseous on the drive home last night, but that was because I was so tired. (Tuesday night, too, but for the same reason. See above.)

We’re going to the beach in August, and I really don’t want to have to be sober the whole time.

I reveled in not being a child-pod on Tuesday.

[TMI alert] I mean, it was just that once on the edge of what possibly could have been the right time last month. What are the chances?

Wait, the boob-tenderness thing is often absent for second pregnancies?

[TMI alert] My cycle’s been a little weird, with the weaning and restarting only a couple of months ago, so last weekend might have been too early for the stick.

Because the stick said something different on Tuesday night.

That guy? Was Bump.


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