Thursday, June 22, 2006

BlogHer

I'm not going to BlogHer.

Waah.

It sounds really fun, but I can't swing it, work-wise (meaning I wouldn't be able to get the time off). Also, I would ruin this carefully crafted anonymity I have going.

(Snort. I'm an Asian woman from a town of 200 people. Call anyone in that town, ask about the Asian chick who lives in DC now, and they'll give you my name. Probably also my family history along with a story about how my Grandpa Ray used to put firecrackers up cats' butts when he was little.)

(Also, I've posted pictures of my damn face. How anonymous is that? Not very, is the answer.)

But! But! You don't know where I live so you can't mail me threats or pipe bombs.

(Also, you can't mail me cookies. Which, waah.)

You also can't stalk me or rob my house when I go on vacation.

(Why would you stalk me? I'm not even that nice. And are my mismatched Ikea bookshelves fetching so much money on the street that people are looking to steal my stuff? Because honestly, the mismatched Ikea bookshelves are probably the most expensive things in our house. I have nothing valuable yet portable for thieves to burgle.)

(I'm so boring, I can't even get my babysitters to rifle through the underwear drawers. Believe me, I've offered, but they all seem to just carefully tend to the baby and then watch tv once he's gone to sleep. Them and their <airquote> responsible< /airquote> <airquote> behavior.< /airquote>)

(Does the period go on the inside or the outside of the airquote? Oh never mind.)

So, my precious anonymity . . . Yeah, whatever.

But I'm still not going to San Jose.

Did I mention, "Waah"?

5 comments:

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Do you want me to take an 8 x 10 picture of you and carry it around and make the other bloghers talk as if you were there?

I can make witty retorts for you.

I mean - if I can find a plane ticket that I can actually afford to get there.

Michele said...

Not going either. I would love to but cant swing it with my limited time-off. My kids are sucking my vacation and personal days dry.

Rub it in, Sarah.

laurie said...

yeah. i wanted to go to, but we'll be moving then. yay for me.

(btw. your live feed thingy doesn't seem to be working. at least, it hasn't been working for me for the past few days. did you flick a switch or push a red button marked "don't push this red button" somewhere in your blogger?)

Jenny said...

Man. We should all have a "I'm not going to Blogher so instead I'm going to get a cocktail and some cute shoes to placate myself day."

That would be awesome.

Mom101 said...

I should have known you were Asian. All my favorite bloggers always turn out to be Asian. Why is that? C'mon, don't you speak for the entire continent?

I'm sorry you can't come to blogHer but I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like we're going to be talking about you the whole time or anything...