Nice One, Dumbass

My friend Alex complimented people by telling them "you're a great American."

It was a little odd, but Alex totally pulled it off. It was cute when he said it. People always responded well to being told they were a great American, especially in DC.

I adopted it occasionally, usually when drunk.

During a wedding weekend, some friends and I were sitting around the hotel pool. It was lovely, looking out over the lake. There was bar service, and the bartender went out of his way to make sure we were taken care of.

"Thanks," I told him, after he delivered yet another round of drinks. Then I added, "You're a great American."

He looked at me funny.

The lake we were looking at was Lake Ontario.

We were in Toronto.

I'm an idiot.

I tipped him really, really well.