Friday, May 05, 2006

I'm Not the Person I Think I Am

I've read some things about the magazine Cookie, and I was sure I hated it. Hated everything about it. Hated everything it stood for and everything it wanted to be. Hate.

Then I saw a copy at the doctor's office. I didn't make it past the third page before my eyes glazed over with lust. Glossy! Pretty things I can't afford! Must! Attain!

And now I'm considering getting a subscription. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe I should just go to the doctor every month. The $15 copay each time is probably worth avoiding the embarrassment of having this magazine sent to my house.

Another reason I'm not a very nice person?

Lumpyhead seems to have caught Teo's cold, and I'm finding it hard not to think bad thoughts about Germy McColdgiver. But to be honest, both Bump's and my inside-the-head voices are screaming "Two weeks! Teo has had this cold for two weeks, and now our precious tadpole has the plague! We should never have brought him over for a visit."

Am I alone in this? When your child gets sick from an obvious source, do you blame the previous victim (even though you know that building up immunities is good for your child)? Instead of thinking "ooh, poor baby" about the other kid, do you mentally scowl at her for her unclean ways? Do you feel as guilty about it as I do?

I did the same thing with my sister-in-law's family when Lumpyhead got sick at Christmastime, so it's obviously not a reflection on how much I love the poor Typhoid Marys.

So the little guy has a runny nose, and is sounding slightly hoarse. Of course, he could be hoarse from screaming all the damn time, and his nose could be running because he's teething, and poor little Teo is being falsely accused. What do I know? My boy doesn't even like me.

But last night the bedtime howling only lasted 45 minutes, so I've got that going for me (yay). Three nighttime wakings (boo), but Lumpyhead was back to sleep in less than five minutes for each of them (yay). Naps are still a challenge, though, according to Bump (boo). Serves him right, Mr. Favorite McBabyLikesMeBest. [crosses arms. pouts.]

(Disclaimer: I almost didn't post this, as I realized that Bridgermama posted something about sick babies and Nonlinear Girl posted something about magazines recently. But I wrote this myself, I swear. I didn't steal it from either of you.)


nonlineargirl said...

Good thing you are funny, lady. No, actually I often notice that I read something someone writes and it leads me on a related, but different path of my own.

daddy in a strange land said...

Didn't you get the "2 years for the price of one, provided we don't fold before that" subscription offer? Cookie: Vicarious Living for Middle Class Parents Who Don't Want To Buy Their Children $100 Shirts They'll Fit In For Two Months (TM) ;)

Jo said...

Ah! This brings to mind the time I found ONE! (just one) louse in my daughter's hair. Called the mother of the friend who she spent the night before at. This other mother washed her kid's hair with lice shampoo and there were HUNDREDS! (yes hundreds) of lice in the tub. But guess what? Her kid got lice from my kid! (according to her!) still stings, twenty years later..