Friday, April 11, 2008


Back during that glorious week when Bump and the tormentors were in Florida and I had a whole weekend to myself -- and it was a long weekend! Three days! Score! -- one of the indulgent things I did was go to the mall. Normally I dislike shopping intensely, but buying bras was on my list of Things I Must Accomplish, so off to the mall I went. I ate a leisurely lunch without having to pick up any food off the floor. I stopped at the Godiva store and bought a snack that I didn't have to share. I browsed stores I usually don't have time to think about.

I bought shoes that were really cute but pinch a little bit.*

I went to Sephora and got a new moisturizer.

I also decided to try a product to get rid of this annoying brown spot on my face.
This one. See it on my cheekbone?

So I bought this, um, stuff. The product seems to be called "Lumedia, Formulated to reduce the appearance of Hyperpigmented Age Spots and stubborn discolorations of the skin (including melasma and freckles)," which 1) seems like an awfully long name and 2) always makes me think: "Are you like me? Can you just not get your pigmented age spots to calm the fuck down already?"

The Sephora employee recommended the product, so like a bleating sheep I bought it.

Anyway, I've been using it faithfully since March 1. (Except, you know, I didn't have it with me for those few days I was in Sioux Falls, and then I forgot about it for a few days after that, and I apply it once a day but that second recommended application typically doesn't happen, but still! Almost faithfully.)

The Sephora man told me to give it a month or so.

and after a month or so. . .

duh dun da DUH!Yeah. Nuthin. No Change.

$96 of useless crap. It's probably hobo semen in a black bottle.

*Times I have put those shoes on since buying them: 4
Times I have worn them out of the house: 0
I told you, they're uncomfortable. But every time I put them on I think, "Hey! These are really cute!" Also, I have since purchased Croc flip flops, which totally win the footwear battle against cute any day of the week.


bozoette said...

I was so hopeful that it would work, because I have an identical spot in the identical place. We are spot sisters! Then again, I've saved $96 bucks. Thanks!

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I really hope it wasn't hobo semen.

But thanks to you I will fear that from now on.

Mom at Work said...

I was hoping for it, too. What with my extremely hyperactive age spots.

96 bucks, that's like 1/5 of the way to the brown laser.

Violet said...

I wonder what Michael Jackson was using on his brown spot.

bserviates said...

I have the same issue(s), and my "spot" actually got worse with pregnancy! But seriously? Know what worked - not gone, but now noticably lighter? Porcelana. Yes the cream sold at CVS for old lady hands. Try it!

Devra said...

This reminds me of the time my friend and I read the ingredients in Aramis cologne and we were really grossed out that it contained Sheep RNA. Hobo semen would be worse tho and I definitely wouldn't want it on my face. Or yours.

Em said...

Croc flip flops are the best (ask me what to do when they need to be cleaned).

I can't believe you went to the mall for bras and we didn't get a revealing post about it.

Maybe Hobo Semen is the key to really removing age spots. I think you should mention it the next time you are in Sephora.

xdm said...

It's not hobo semen. Hobo semen tastes different.