Lumedia

Back during that glorious week when Bump and the tormentors were in Florida and I had a whole weekend to myself -- and it was a long weekend! Three days! Score! -- one of the indulgent things I did was go to the mall. Normally I dislike shopping intensely, but buying bras was on my list of Things I Must Accomplish, so off to the mall I went. I ate a leisurely lunch without having to pick up any food off the floor. I stopped at the Godiva store and bought a snack that I didn't have to share. I browsed stores I usually don't have time to think about.

I bought shoes that were really cute but pinch a little bit.*

I went to Sephora and got a new moisturizer.

I also decided to try a product to get rid of this annoying brown spot on my face.

This one. See it on my cheekbone?

So I bought this, um, stuff. The product seems to be called "Lumedia, Formulated to reduce the appearance of Hyperpigmented Age Spots and stubborn discolorations of the skin (including melasma and freckles)," which 1) seems like an awfully long name and 2) always makes me think: "Are you like me? Can you just not get your pigmented age spots to calm the fuck down already?"

The Sephora employee recommended the product, so like a bleating sheep I bought it.

Anyway, I've been using it faithfully since March 1. (Except, you know, I didn't have it with me for those few days I was in Sioux Falls, and then I forgot about it for a few days after that, and I apply it once a day but that second recommended application typically doesn't happen, but still! Almost faithfully.)

The Sephora man told me to give it a month or so.

and after a month or so. . .

duh dun da DUH!Yeah. Nuthin. No Change.

$96 of useless crap. It's probably hobo semen in a black bottle.


*Times I have put those shoes on since buying them: 4
Times I have worn them out of the house: 0
I told you, they're uncomfortable. But every time I put them on I think, "Hey! These are really cute!" Also, I have since purchased Croc flip flops, which totally win the footwear battle against cute any day of the week.