Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I Am Both Blackhearted and Cynical

I hate Valentine's Day. Sorry, Heather.

Single Friend, who sees Valentine's Day as another way for the coupled-up world to kick her in the crotch, is so bitterly cranky today I don't even want to say hello.

New Relationship Friend is a ball of twitchy goo because she's not sure if she should have gotten New Guy a big gift, a little gift, or nothing at all. What if New Guy gets her a big gift and all she got for him is this puny-kinda-funny thing?

Long-Standing Relationship Friend rolls his eyes. "What a load of crap. If Significant Other needs a manufactured day to let her know that I love her then she really doesn't get what I'm all about."

Meanwhile, Significant Other wouldn't mind a little "you're special" reminder every once in a while, even if it's stuck between absent-minded ass scratching and a burp.

It's my friend Fundy's birthday, and he's busy complaining about how it's the worst day to have a birthday ever. You can't get a table at a restaurant, all your friends have "plans," if you're seeing someone the day can't be about you, if you're not seeing someone you get to be all bummed out on your birthday . . .

Cripes already. No wonder I hate Valentine's Day.

Okay, reasons to enjoy the day: (or, the only things keeping me from rushing out to the suburbs, finding Sarah, and forcing her on a three-day drinking bender with me)

1) Nana Vicky sent us a Valentine's Day care package last Friday. It contained many fabulous hand-made and decorated sugar cookies (all gone as of Sunday), some heart-shaped marshmallows (half of which we ate with chocolate sauce, the other half to be used in a how-many-can-you-fit-in-your-mouth-at-one-time contest - which sounds dirtier than it is), and two outfits for Lumpyhead, among other items. Like some awesome chocolates.

2) Valentine's Day is a good reason to drink champagne, even if it's cheap champagne.

3) Tomorrow: sale chocolate.

4) Bump.

Hey Bump, I love you. Glad I squeezed out your progeny.


BarbaraFromCalifornia said...


Have a Happy Day nevertheless...

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Three day bender sound good.

I'm in.

Heather said...

That's okay. You may be cynical and blackhearted, but you appreciate the cheap champagne and sale chocolate. I like that.