Saturday, June 07, 2008

Why Straight Men Want to See Sex and the City

The office closed early yesterday afternoon, and I had nothing planned for all the luxurious free time. Bump and I have a date scheduled for Sunday night - movie, dinner, and babysitter - and are going to see the new Indiana Jones installment.

When my colleague heard I was going to a movie this weekend and it wasn't Sex and the City, she told me what I needed to do with my afternoon. She even offered to babysit the tormentors.

Bump was less excited than I expected upon my announcment that I scored a sitter and we both had the afternoon off. When he heard which movie had provided this unexpected bounty, his enthusiasm waned even further. I told him I would go alone - and he could spend the afternoon napping - but he took a deep breath and accompanied me to the movie, certain he would be the only heterosexual male in the audience.

While women and gay men may be the target for this picture, I say to straight men everywhere: this movie could benefit you, too. How? SATC is porn for women.

Forget that bullshit "tastefully done from a woman's point of view" X-rated garbage. Lady porn is hot men on a big screen, an almost-believable plotline, and a little drama. Add fashion and some smart dialog to the formula and you get really good lady porn. There were plenty of other men in the theater; and while most had clearly been dragged there by the ovaries in the seat next to them, unless they did something horribly wrong they all got laid as a result of that movie.

But let me warn you right now about the previews. Good lord in heaven, we were subjected to a lengthy trailer for a Richard Gere movie that looked so bad I had flashbacks of that time a friend convinced me to watch Hope Floats and I was never so pissed off in my life about two hours so poorly spent.


Anne said...

Hope Floats should have been called Turds Float.

the larsons said...

I HATED Hope Floats too. It was awful.

Em said...

I can't believe you have a colleague that thought it was so important that you go to Sex and the City that she offered to babysit. Really.