Monday, November 13, 2006

A Series of Possibly Unwise Decisions Led to Why My Upper Lip is a Little Swollen

In the past, that title might have been led to an interesting story. Like how I got into a bar fight or tripped after drinking too much. Sorry, not today.

When Lumpyhead gets bored at mealtime, he likes to pull his foot above tray level in his high chair. He often tries to put food between his toes, but because he hasn’t mastered fine motor skills yet, he usually drops the food on the floor.

On Sunday I thought it would be fun to indulge him, [Ding! Possibly Unwise Decision #1] so I helped him put the raisins he was eating between his toes. He thought it was funny. So did I, honestly. He looked like he was getting a pedicure.

Yes, he ate the raisins after they had been stuck in his feet.

We can often convince Lumpyhead to keep eating if we have a little of whatever he’s eating. The convincing factor is ratcheted up a notch if we let Lumpyhead feed us. So I ate some raisins from Lumpyhead [Ding! Possibly Unwise Decision #2], which probably means I ate some Foot Raisins, too.

Lumpyhead thought this was all very, very funny, and honestly, how can anyone resist a laughing baby?
The only choice you have, really, is to try to make the baby laugh more. And since I’d already probably eaten a few Foot Raisins, I started nibbling his toes. [Ding! Ding Ding Ding! Really, why not cut out the Raisin Middle Man and just eat baby feet?]

So while I was maniacally nibbling baby toes, Lumpyhead scraped me with a sharp corner on his big toenail.

How do you begin to explain a scratch on your upper lip that resulted from raisiny baby toe nibbling?

I’m just gonna pretend it’s not there. Stop staring, okay?

6 comments:

Auntly H said...

What could be better than raisiny baby toes? Raisiny baby toes without a scratched lip, I suppose. Or chocolatey baby toes, but that would probably require baths all around.

laurie said...

i don't know how anyone could resist that laughing baby. dang he's cute. sorry about your lip, though.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Yeah. You were totally asking for it.

stefanierj said...

I think this gives you ample opportunity to make something up that will make people Very Uncomfortable. That's what you do when the truth is stranger than fiction, right?

Anonymous said...

I was going to tell you that I think our babies are psychically linked (separated at birth doesn't quite make sense here) due to Ada's love of food between the toes. But then I realized it might be you and I who are linked in the unwise ways, because (a) I too have eaten toe-food) and (b) a few weeks ago I had a similar scratch for the same reason.

Violet said...

those toenails can be damned sharp, eh? Like you, it's very hard to resist a laughing baby. Unless she's throwing food and sippy on the floor while she laughs.