Hey, you wanna hear my baseless, goofball theory about Michael Jackson?
I think his family wanted so desperately to preserve that amazing adolescent voice of his that they had him, um, fixed.
Chemically, or maybe even surgically, they attempted to prevent puberty.
The result was a musical genius who was tortured by hormonal imbalance and his inability to procreate.
You know, or not.
Feel free to add your own goofball theories in the comments. Or tell me why I'm right. Or wrong. (But like any good whack-job, I'll delete your comments telling me that I'm wrong, and then hunt you down and pester you for a good portion of the next three months or so.)