Monday, August 25, 2008

Making Something Totally Not About Me a Little Bit About Me

I got a call from a friend last week, telling me his marriage was ending. I honestly thought when he got to the "I have news" part of the call, he was going to tell me he was going to be a father. I am shocked.

I am also unspeakably sad.

While emotions are still raw, there seems to be very little bitterness and not a lot of blame. I suppose if something is going to end, this is the best way.

At the root of my heartache is this: if you could earn happiness by delighting others, these two would always be smiling. Their words and actions make the lives of their friends and families richer. They are thoughtful, kind, big-hearted people who make rooms cheerier just by entering them. I am a better person for knowing them both.

I hope their sorrow is brief. I hope the joy they both so richly deserve will be theirs soon, and I'm sorry this relationship was not the one to bring it.

I want so badly for them both to be happy, and it seems that's what they want for each other. May you find what you seek, Dear Friends.


Em said...

After spending the better part of two years watching a close friend's marriage end, and then end, and then consume its own end, I can say that the lack of bitterness (or children) on the part of your friends is a blessing.

I've also watch a close friend (divorced) fall in love with a wonderful (divorced) man and his three kids. And it has been so full of joy though hardly predictable.

Anonymous said...

It's sad, but timely what you wrote. I felt like you were writing about my husband and myself. We're 12 now and are facing together in a healthy way something we should have done a while ago. We love one another very much and are strongly & fundamentally right for one another. But we are different. We have different needs. Right now, we're trying to find a way to satisfy those needs together while staying together.

And I hope we do, because I love him and he loves me and our daughter wouldn't handle it very well if we divorced.

Julie said...

That is sad. I know the statistics about divorce, but it's still such a shock when it hits a friend. A little too close to home, I always think...

Misfit Hausfrau said...

I do understand where you are coming from. It is incredibly sad when friends divorce. I have been fortunate in that it has only happened a couple of times.

On the other side of the coin, we have some friends whom we can't believe are NOT divorced.