Tuesday, January 16, 2007

An MLK Day Post That’s Really Just an Excuse for Me to Complain

I did not go into labor this weekend, and I have mixed feelings about that.

First, I’m a little sad that Akutaq will not share a birthday with Dr. King. I realize even if your birthday is January 15 you might not always get the day off for your birthday, but it would be pretty awesome to have a three-day weekend around your special day.

Second, I remain pregnant, which sucks the big fat one on the suckage scale. Thanks to PUPP (or PUPPP, or PUPPPP . . . honestly, I don’t care how many P’s it has. I don’t even care what it’s called, I just want it to go away), I’m scratching myself constantly; I sound like a rodent trapped behind a wall. I need a crane to help me roll over in bed, and in general I just feel sort of. . . off. I’m achy and sweaty and tired all the time. Oh, and I’m contracting every so often. Don’t panic, they’re not the real, active labor, can’t-talk-or-see kind of contraction. They’re just little contractions that make me pant a little, but they suck.

On the bright side, not going into labor this past weekend meant we didn’t have to scramble around to find someone to watch Lumpyhead. Bump’s mom arrives on Sunday, which will eliminate the need to track down Peter - or leave Lumpyhead on the curb in front of Sarah’s house - on our way to the hospital. Plus, Aunt Bob was out of town last weekend, meaning the non-fainting half of my delivery room support team would have unavailable in the event of an MLK delivery.

Even though I’m 2-3 cm dilated and 90 percent effaced, and the doctor claims I could go into labor “any minute,” I think we’ll make it to the scheduled induction on the 23rd (cue ominous music or sarcastic laughter).

Finally, would it kill the NFL to align the schedule to have Superbowl Sunday fall on MLK weekend? I mean, really? Doesn’t it make sense to have a big Sunday night event fall on a weekend when many of us have Monday off?* To use the parlance of the new Speaker of the House: Think of the children. Do it for the children.

*I don’t mean to intrude on a holiday for a great man, but jeez, I get Columbus Day off. Certainly the economic machine that is the Superbowl ranks up there with fricken Christopher Columbus.

And I hate to admit it, but just like I do on Veterans’ Day and Memorial Day, on MLK Day I scan the newspaper for events I could attend in recognition of the holiday, then settle back into what becomes Generic Lazy Sunday, Take 2.


Anonymous said...

Chyld shares his birthday with MLK.

I feel for you, that end stage, where you would do just about anything to convince the kid to claw their way out is unbearable. Weren't you walking around all dialated and stuff when you were about to deliver Lumpyhead too?

I await signs of the real life akutaq with baited breath. Keep us posted!

Anonymous said...

C'mon Akutaq. Help your Mum out...

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

1) My brother's birthday is January 15th. He likes it.

2) You could always brink Lumpyhead inside. You don't have to leave him on the curb.

3) When I had PuPPs (or whatever) I took dye-free benadryl and it helped somewhat. Booze would probably help more.

Anonymous said...

Just drop Lumpyhead off at our house. We'd love to get our hands on him without his parents!

laurie said...

aw man. i had that freakin PUPPs crap. it sucks harder than a dyson bagless. you've got ALL my sympathy now. (previously, you were sharing it with another pregnant friend, but she's just pregnant, you're in hell.)

here akutaq! come on. come on girl! yeah. that's right. come on out sweetie. good girl.

Aunt Bob said...

I have my leave slip signed for the 23rd -- so I'm expecting the call at any moment [grin]

Anonymous said...

Soon, it will be over soon. I was annoyed that I went into labor early, meaning I didn't get the day off for 4th of July. I had it all planned - first day of leave starts July 5, so I stop working on the first and still get the holiday pay! (cheap, I know.) Instead I went a week early, surprising me and really freaking out my replacement, who was counting on the extra week together to figure out my filing system.