Friday, October 06, 2006

We Now Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Pregnancy-Related Bitching and Moaning, Already in Progress

Both Amalah and Holly told me to go read Emily this week, so like the obedient drone I am, I complied. Emily is expecting her first baby in the next few minutes, and her posts reminded me how excited and full of wonder I felt when I was pregnant with Lumpyhead. (Also completely out of my mind with worry and fear, but we’ll gloss over that since we’re being all nostalgic and shit.)

It’s different this time.

I expected this pregnancy to be different, but I miss the exhilaration. I feel bad about the lack of curiosity. Am I already giving Baby #2 less attention?

I used to obsessively check Babycenter’s pregnancy timeline, cursing that they only gave me an update once a week. Once a week? I want to know what’s happening now! Surely there must have been some new development since Tuesday. How about new liver cells? Tell me the baby has grown new liver cells. Or maybe the baby has grown from a small kidney bean to a medium-sized kidney bean. I need to know these things!

This pregnancy, I’m not even completely sure how far along I am most of the time. 22 weeks, right? Yes, 22 weeks. Or something like that. In my defense, last time the pregnancy coincided perfectly with the NFL season, so I could just ask Bump, “Which week was it on Sunday?” and know how far along I was without having to count back from the due date.

Last time I religiously slathered my belly with a shea butter cream twice a day. I knew I couldn’t really prevent stretch marks, but certainly the cream couldn’t hurt. I was also itchy all the time, and I felt like putting the cream on was addressing the issue, even though it didn’t really help.

This time the itchiness is gone, and I’m a lot less uptight about stretch marks. (If I didn’t get them the first time, I probably won’t get them this time, right?) I thought I saw some stretch marks the other night, but it turned out it was just an imprint from a wrinkle in my shirt.

Last pregnancy, as soon as I could justify it, I pulled out the maternity clothes to accentuate the “look, it’s a baby not a beer gut!” tummy bulge.

Now I gripe constantly about maternity wear. Can I get something that doesn’t do that weird wrap thing over the chest and therefore expose my goddamn navel from the neckline? How about something that’s not fucking pink? Why do all these shirts need to be ironed every time they come out of the wash? Don’t get me started on pockets.

So I’m schlumping around in my regular polo shirts, because most of them still fit. (Hint: maybe this means you’re wearing your regular clothing too big, Dumbass)

I’m feeling large. You know when you’ve eaten waaay too much spaghetti and really need to unbutton your pants or put on sweats or something? That’s how I’m feeling. I’m hoping this sensation goes away pretty soon, because I’m sighing a lot.

I spend a lot of time thinking, “Did I feel this way last time? Isn’t it a little early for this?” I remember being miserable the last month of pregnancy, how is it that I’m already sleeping in Bump’s recliner?

Akutaq is kicking pretty vigorously, especially at night. I get home, chase Lumpyhead a little, and put him to bed. Then I sit on the loveseat with my puffy feet up, rubbing my distended belly and exhaling loudly, thinking, “I could really use a vodka martini and a can of salted mixed nuts.”

On a brighter note, the nausea seems to have abated.

On an even brighter note, It’s Aunt Bob’s birthday tomorrow!

4 comments:

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

No nausea = good.

No martinis = bad.

I just looked at pregnancy as natures way of giving my liver a break.

Violet said...

I've heard that the second time you get pregnant, you do get bigger faster than the first time around. Once you're pregnant enough to have a significant-sized bump, those stretchy, clingy maternity tops are the way to go - they're comfy and they make it obvious that you aren't just really fat.

Gidge said...

I think that was why I had to have twins the second time, just to keep it interesting.
I already felt very "been there done that" with the pregnancy until they told me it was twins.

stefanierj said...

Here's the thing: I have just decided I either no longer have to get pregnant a second time or will now have a roadmap for what it will be like. The way I see it, since your experience with #1 was the exact same as mine, my second pregnancy will no doubt be very similar, so I could just read about your trials, er, adventures instead.