Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I'm Trying to Teach Him "He Who Smelt It, Dealt It"

[Unidentified thump]
Bump: What was that noise?
Lumpyhead: Papa farted.
Bump: Hey!
Me: [giggling]
Bump: I didn’t fart.
Lumpyhead: Mama farted.
Me: [indignant now] Hey!
Bump: [chucking the Laugh of Righteousness]
Me: I didn’t fart, either.
Lumpyhead: Baby farted.
Lula: [stares blankly. Drools.]

[Shrug] Fine by me.

Because Lumpyhead’s rote response to “What’s that smell?” is “Mama farted.”

I'm sure his father taught him that.


Vid Digger said...

So, did you fart?

Just a question. :)

Lumpyheadsmom said...

Me? Fart? Nooooo.

[furtive glances]

Of course not.

tammy said...

Justin used to say he heard Japanese barking spiders, which he got from Ritch.

Devra said...

I guess this is the appropriate juncture to admit that one time I called upstairs to The Huz,"What? Can you repeat that? What did you say?" and he could barely speak as he tried to yell down to me, "I just farted."

Good times.

Devra said...

I should have included the reason he could barely speak is he was laughing so fucking hard.

merseydotes said...

There is this great poem called "Gas" in Petunia's big book of poetry. I can't remember the author, but it's all about how farting in France is illegal. Lumpyhead might like it.

Violet said...


Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

It was probably Lula anyway.

If it was Lumpyhead we would have smelled it from here.

p-man said...


Anonymous said...

Maybe "the smeller's the feller" would be easier at this developmental phase? -AO