Thursday, October 25, 2007

Guaranteeing Tacos

In case you missed it, we can all thank Jacoby Ellsbury for scoring us one free taco.

A free taco from 2-5pm on October 30. Because mid-afternoon is when everyone is really jonesing for some scary food-like product. I guess this would put your severe diarrhea somewhere in the middle of prime time, depending on your digestive system and the speed at which it processes garbage. I wouldn’t count on watching House in real time, is all I’m saying.

Kevin Youkilis noted that this promotion “might cost Taco Bell more if they did it from 2 to 5 a.m.” Good point.

To be fair, Mr. Ellsbury was clearly goaded into stealing that base by Royce Clayton last night, in perhaps the best exchange Major League Baseball has ever seen. (I’m sure this is available on YouTube by now, but it went like this:)

Royce Clayton: Hey, you like Taco Bell?
Jacoby Ellsbury: [Nods]
RC: You know, if somebody steals a base in the World Series, everybody in America gets a Taco Bell. Free taco.
JE: Everybody in America?
RC: Everybody in America gets a free taco.
JE: Doesn’t look like we’ll be getting one tonight.
RC: Nah. But America’s depending on you, next game.
JE: Tomorrow?
RC: Yeah.
JE: Tomorrow night.
RC: Tomorrow night. Woo hoo. Tomorrow night, you guaranteeing tacos.

I’m sure Taco Bell has insurance for this kind of thing - like the furniture store in Boston that promised to refund everyone’s money if the Sox win the Series - but honestly, Taco Bell is going to make a ton of money from this.

Because who the hell eats only one taco? Once you’re there, you’re obviously leaving with more than just your free taco.

I mean, if you’re going to have to run to the bathroom later anyway, you might as well make it worth the trip.

7 comments:

Violet said...

we don't have taco bell in New Zealand, but those things must taste pretty damn good if the prospect of severe diarrhoea doesn't stop people from eating them.

Em said...

These little side stories almost make me wish I cared about baseball again.

Stephanie (Red Sox Redhead) said...

I will be getting my taco on the way home for sure...

Youk is TOTALLY right!!2-5 a.m. would have been more appropriate!

Lumpyheadsmom said...

More taco.

Sheila said...

I live near Boston and I know a Red Sox fan who purchased a living room set, and is confidently awaiting reimbursement. Go Sox!

Julie said...

Am I allowed to have one even though I didn't figure out until halfway through your post that you were talking about baseball?

The teenage kid training me in my job asked me about the World Series, and I was all, "oh, is that going on again?"

I'm smart.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Yeah, I'd need at least a coke and some nachos to go along with my diarrhea, I mean taco.