Same Time Every Year

Why does February fly by, while March stretches on forever?

One day it's February 20 and two seconds later I realize it's March 2nd and I yelp curse words and scramble to pay bills and arrange other first-of-the-month things. Then, vowing to never let that happen again, I carefully watch the calendar to ensure I handle things at the end of the month like I'm supposed to.

So on March 15 I start thinking "Okay, I'm gonna need to take care of that stuff soon." But 63 days later it's somehow only March 20 and I'm all "WHAT THE HELL, CALENDAR?"

This happens to you too, right? How can only a couple of days make such a difference? I don't have this problem on 30-day months.

Oh com'on. You know it happens to you, too. Maybe you haven't noticed it before, but trust me, sometime around March 28 you're gonna be all "That Lumpyhead's Mom, man, she's a fucking prophet."