"All in all, I think 'douche' is pretty tame."
"I don't want my four-year-old calling some other kid a douche on the playground."
"It was the two-year-old who said it."
[Glare]
"Douche will probably be prefectly acceptable dinner-party talk soon. You know, there was a time when 'jerk' was considered a vulgar reference to masturbation."
[Pointedly] "Is now that time?"
"It's better than asshole."
"Is that the only alternative you can think of?"
[Long pause] "Yes."
--
Okay, I can think of other words, but asshole is the most apt synonym for douche. What do you suggest? Assume any variant of douchebag is unacceptable to my children's father, as well as anything with the ass- prefix (asshat, assface, asslicker) or the -hole suffix (dillhole, jackhole, jerkhole). It must be a perfect substitute for douche, because otherwise I'm not using it.
Nobody half-asses it like me.
7 comments:
I suspect "dickhead" would be unacceptable, no? How about one of my husband's favorites: nimnoid. Still, it doesn't have quite the same mouthfeel.
Dude - seriously?
I love you, but if my kids came home from a playdate with your kids and started using the word "douche"...I would definitely write a blog post about it.
And it wouldn't be pretty.
And the next time your kids came over to my house for a playdate... we'd spend the day reading the Old Testament.
I think you need something that the children could easily have learned from another child so that you can disavow all blame. Poophead? Fartbubble? Buttmunch?
Fartypants. You can't blame that one on the grownups.
meatloaf
We go with "turd". And occasionally "turdball". :)
You're welcome.
"Tool" if its for you....cotton headed ninnymuggins for the kids....if they can say it then they are quite ticked off and its totally justifiable
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