Monday, October 20, 2008

Pumpkin Patch

I had this grand plan to find a farm when my parents were here. On a beautiful, crisp fall day, we would pick apples and frolic happily in a sunlit pumpkin patch. The perfect autumn photo op. Later we would eat a lovely lunch at an underappreciated pub - a kid-friendly place with excellent food and maybe a fireplace - then the children would nap on the drive home.

I didn't really think through how we would negotiate a pumpkin patch with my barely mobile father. Nor did I have any idea where this "farm" was located - I assumed we would just drive west until we found something - ditto for the fictitious pub (which I'm sure has exceptionally reasonable prices, too. And a great selection of draft beer).

I wanted to go on a weekday to avoid crowds. With Lumpyhead's preschool schedule, that gave us four potential mornings for this outing. But when it wasn't threatening to rain, it was approaching 80 degrees, which didn't really put me in the mood for apple picking. (Nothing says "fall" like a photo of your sweaty kids in shorts, holding a pumpkin. Or your rain-drenched kid, crying in front of an apple tree.)

So it didn't happen.

But! Lumpyhead's preschool came through with an autumn event. Bump's mother and stepdad were in town on their annual migration from Maine to Florida, and off we went for pumpkins and a bonfire and a hayride. I got my damn pictures.

With grandparents, even.
I started a pumpkin circle around Lumpyhead, but he got bored with the idea and walked off. So I made my other son sit in my stupid circle.
Even though I got tons of oohs and aahs and squees while I was taking this picture, I think it looks like I'm sacrificing Nathan Jr to a wiccan harvest god. Guess I should have gotten lower to the ground. After I picked him up I saw at least five other families using the pumpkin circle for their photos, so, go me. I totally win Pumpkin Patch.

And even though Lumpyhead and Lula seemed much more into the heavy machinery than the pumpkins, I think they had a good time.

Lumpyhead was stone silent on the hayride from the parking lot to the bonfire site, even though we were accompanied by two of his teachers and saw a deer. Of course, now he won't stop talking about the damn hayride hayride HAYRIDE! and if I learned anything from the outing, it is this: never go to a farm with three children unless you have at least two grandparents and beer.


Fran said...

OMG! Your kids are so dang cute! I love the "sacrificial" picture!

We have been living in Maine for 3 years now. I immediately spotted the "Moxie" shirt. We live in the Lewiston/Auburn area.


jen renee said...

omg, I had to stop by and say that I love your blog.

i found you because of your awesome dj lance costume last year - and you are just hilarious. love the photos and the commentary. cute kids, pumpkins, love it all. :)

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Love the "wiccan harvest god" remark. (I sorta thought that too when I first saw the picture.)

Laura said...

You might have the cutest kids ever and you never fail to make me laugh out loud...the wiccan harvest sacrifice funny and of course Nathan Jr looks like he enjoyed every minute of it.

Em said...

Lucy is obsessed with the idea that black and white stripes mean you are in jail. So I can't share this pix with her even though they are adorable because she'll think LH is a convict!

mo-wo said...

The look with the black and white striped hoodie is AWESOME.

Your girl is the most beautiful girl in the blogosphere. And yes I say that to all the bloggers, but sort of only in a really acurate succession.

I am with you on the creepy baby sacrifice. That patch needs more beers.

Violet said...

Your kids look so cute! So do those liddle bitty baby pumpkins! Even the pagan sacrifice would have some deity making goo-goo eyes.

Work sarah said...

The Nathan Jr. pictures look like a Wiccan version of Anne Geddes photos - if only you'd zoomed super-close like she does, you could make a fortune selling them as Halloween cards, like she would!

Julie said...

Yes, go you -- you did win! Also, when did Lula become a grown-up instead of a baby!?

nonlineargirl said...

I might echo that advice even with one kid. We had 2 parents, 2 grandparents and one kid who was fine until she melted down and could not be consoled by any of us. But until then it was great.

kagemom69 said...

It's not like you put in a roasting pan just for effect for crying out loud!!

Erica said...

Had to join the chorus in saying that your pumpkin patch post was particulary hilarious. Thanks for taking the time in your ridiculously full life to remind harried folks, parents especially, that we must not lose our sense of humor.(p.s. I had to ask Teresa what your kids' real names were because it was driving me crazy. Hope to see you in the real world someday. and yeah for Moxie!