Monday, November 30, 2009

Nothing at All

There's nothing fun about smelling something funky at final bedcheck, turning on the light, and realizing the baby has been visited by the Midnight Barf Fairy.

There's nothing pleasant about shampooing yuck out of your son's hair as he shivers and cries in a tub of chunky vomit soup; because even though the water is warm, a few minutes ago he was sleeping and now he's naked and wet.

And there's nothing worse than soothing a finally clean child, who rests his head on your shoulder and heaves an exhausted sigh; because while you're pleased to be providing a bit of comfort, all you can think is "Damn does this baby need a breath mint."

3 comments:

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Yup. Been there, thought that.

nonlineargirl said...

Shouldn't the barf fairy TAKE barf? You know, like the tooth fairy? (Or barring that, she should leave breath mints...)

Violet said...

And there's nothing fun to get up in the morning to take a pee, only to find that your child has been unsuccessful in transporting her poo to the toilet bowl. She has already gone back to bed in a fresh pull-up, leaving behind a mound of poo on the bathroom floor, pooey pajama pants next to it and a poo-stained toilet seat...