It's a Crazy World

Bump and I seem to be jockeying to be the one to stay up with the baby.

For me, it's not about being a thoughtful spouse and saving Bump from being up all night. It's not for the practical reason that I have to pump regularly and will probably be awake anyway, so I might as well tend the infant. It's not even because when I'm on night duty I get a little sleep, but when Bump is on night duty he gets almost no sleep.

With two parents at home, lost sleep at night can be found during the day. If you're up all night with the baby, your partner will grant you a nap later.

So. You can be awake at odd hours with one child, or awake at conventional hours with three children. The kid you're dealing with at odd hours is asleep most of the time, doesn't talk, and is immobile. You can doze or watch a little TV, even surf the web or write a stupid blog post.

Or, while your spouse naps, you can deal with three kids: one who sleeps most of the time but will wake up at the least convenient moment, squeal piteously, and demand to be fed. The other two must be fed regularly too, but require meals more complicated than slapping a nipple on a bottle. They also harbor staunch and constantly fluctuating opinions on what they're served.

You can referee squabbles, impose timeouts, prevent the infant from being trampled, try to keep them all slightly quiet because "Papa is sleeping," then drop everything immediately at the faintest whisper of the word "potty."

See now why one is more desirable?

(Bump is probably taking the night shift because he's a thoughtful spouse trying to save me from being awake all night. Because he is not an asshole.)