Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Git Off My Lawn

As I waited in the security line yesterday, three young women were chatting behind me. It's a staff-only door, which means the line moves pretty quickly, but also means those crazy kids were gainfully employed and not interns.

One had a date that night - with Dylan! - and everyone was very excited.

How did I get this old? Just the thought of dating made me feel ancient and very tired. And how did boys named Dylan get old enough to ask girls out? Jeez.

**

When did I turn elderly? Do you remember when someone would ask "You know what I don't get?" and you would automatically mutter "Laid very often?" and it was HILARIOUS?

Yeah. Now I cannot even think of an instance in which - or an acquaintance with whom - that would be even a little bit funny. It would either be an indictment of your marriage, or an insulting reminder that you're unhappily single, and it would be just plain mean instead of a good-natured ribbing.

**

At least I still think farts are funny.

I think that makes me immature and old.

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