Saturday, January 05, 2013

It's Not Even Leather

This is the reason I subjected you to that old post: we cleaned Number One Cow.

To recap:
Number One Cow - The Favorite, Lumpyhead's lovey;
Cow II, The Phantom- ordered from an online merchant, never arrived;
Cow III, The Flaccid - a semi-look-alike cow that was actually nothing like Cow; and
Cow IV, The Failed Replacement - an identical item that was never accepted.

Like a scorned biblical sister, Cow IV is allowed in Lumpyhead's room - in his bed, even - but has never accompanied us on trips or been considered Lumpyhead's "real" cuddle buddy.

Even when Number One Cow's music box completely broke - making her Cow IV's exact twin, capability-wise - Lumpyhead never considered Cow IV to be an alternate. And by this time, Number One Cow was a filthy mess, thanks to the mechanical music box that rendered Cow un-washable. (Ha. "Rendered." I wonder if cows are sensitive about that word.) Poser Cow IV was never a serious challenger to unseat Number One Cow.
Poser Cow IV (right, pristine) and Number One Cow (loved, but disgusting)

Cool Mom Picks told me about NYC Lovey Repair -  which, holy moly, what an amazing thing - and I was inspired to try to clean Cow. If a Brooklyn woman and her seven-year-old could repair seriously damaged antiques, surely I could make one Cow a bit less toxic.

As insurance, I searched ebay for another replacement, just in case this all went horribly awry. You know, because Cow IV is SUCH a raging success and FOUR COWS LATER I HAVE NOT LEARNED ANYTHING. New Cows were available for $35-$50.

Let this be a lesson to thee. Do not allow your children to become attached to loveys that are not machine-washable. (Bump and I followed this important parenting tenet for Lula and Nathan Jr.)

I made up some dry foam, and Lumpyhead helped me scrub Cow.

It became immediately apparent that this simply WOULD. NOT. DO.

So I pulled out Cow's ass butt rump-seam, her stuffing, her damned non-working music box, and gave her a proper dousing.

Then I did it again.

And again and again and again.

I assured Lumpyhead that Cow would be on the DL for the shortest possible amount of time. So for one glorious evening - during a sleepover in Gramma's room, even - Poser Cow IV made it to The Show. [bittersweet music plays]

Number One Cow air-dried overnight,

and was re-stuffed. After checking with Lumpyhead, I closed up the hole for the music box windup and didn't replace the broken music box. I sewed the rump-seam back up.

"Buddy!" Lumpyhead yelled when I presented the newly cleaned Cow. Lumpyhead is happy to have Cow back, and I'm happy that she's not as completely disgusting as she was a few days ago. (I'm less happy that I have completely lost the argument that the Cow is NOT A "HE." I'm trying to let it go.)

But she is. . .
still not as clean as Poser Cow IV.

But Number One Cow is back - and clean - thanks to the inspiration of NYC Lovey Repair. Those guys are helpful even when they don't do the work themselves.

Lumpyhead has even announced that he's glad Cow's music box is gone. Because now, when he accidentally drops Cow on his face, it doesn't hurt. Bonus.


Stimey said...

You have no idea how much I loved this post. My favorite part was Cow in the sink. OH MY GOD YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN HUGGING THAT DAY AND NIGHT FOR YEARS.

Also, poor Poser Cow IV. I feel worse for him than I feel like I should.

Violet said...

Such loyalty and devotion! My daughter is fickle and generally loves her favourite soft toy until another one comes along. The upside is there's less toy-washing involved.