1. Where the fuck are my keys?
Lula and I went to the Farmers Market yesterday, and I set my keys down in the kitchen because my hands were full. Later I saw Lula playing with them, and I thought I took them away from her, but this morning I spent at least 15 minutes hunting.
Bump dropped what he was doing (the time-sensitive morning deadline stuff like packing lunches and fixing breakfast and stuffing wriggling feet into clean matching socks) to help search and to interrogate the children. "Have you seen Mama's keys? What about you? Lula, what did you do with them yesterday? What do you mean you don't know? Try to remember."
Either Aunt Bob is wrong, or Pete is wrong. I know who I think is right, but you are going to settle this once and for all.
2. If I showed up at your house and said, "Wow, I hit every light between my place and here" you would think:
a) Every light was green; I didn't have to stop at all.
b) Every light was red; I had to stop every time.
c) "I have no idea what the hell Lumpyhead's Mom is talking about. Again."
d) "Uh, I live in New Zealand."
3. What if I said "I made every light"? (same choices as above)
4. If "I caught every light"?
By the way, the answer to 1 is: In my purse.
(But! But! Not in the pocket where I normally keep them. In a different one.)
Also? I'm pretty sure if you contact us in six years, and mention this, Bump will STILL be annoyed.