Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Breakfast? Not so much with the Fast

I heard that steel-cut oatmeal was the new Big Thing (I dunno, I probably read it on the internet. Damn you, Internet, filling my head with all kinds of ideas) so I bought some and tried it.

It was a revelation. Steel-cut oatmeal is freaking awesome. It has a nutty texture and is completely unlike the mushy stuff I'm used to. It lived up to the hype.

But here's the thing, Internet. Who in the ever loving hell has 45 minutes to cook steel-cut oatmeal in the morning? Do you? Because if you do, come over to my house and make me some damn breakfast.

Wait, you know what? If you're going to spend 45 minutes on something, why don't you make me some grits and eggs. And biscuits. And bacon.

Because while steel-cut oatmeal is really good, even if you pile on the brown sugar and maple syrup it is still oatmeal. And yes, it is very good oatmeal, but if I'm going to spend 45 minutes stirring something it better taste like truffle-fucking-risotto when I'm done.

Seriously. Forty-five fricking minutes. Most of you can drive to my house, drop off an egg mcmuffin, and scurry back home within that time window.

Don't forget my hashbrowns.

12 comments:

Julie said...

And that is why my kids will only ever experience the kind of oatmeal that comes in a bag and has "apples" in it.

I've never had truffle-fucking-risotto. Is it good? :)

K Mel said...

Trader Joe's has frozen brown sugar steel cut oatmeal that you microwave for 3 minutes! It's a pretty decent version without the long cooking time.

Betty said...

do you have a programmable crockpot/ slow cooker? I hear you can make them in a slow cooker - just set it the night before and wake to yummy oatmeal!

De in D.C. said...

Could you try par-cooking some on the stove then keeping it in the fridge, scooping out some and microwaving it in the mornings?

I've also heard about cooking it in a slow cooker. I don't have a programmable one, but I've been known to plug the slow cooker into a light timer that's set to go on at like 3am or whenever I need it. All about the ghetto cooking...

Michele said...

Measure the oats and water out the night before and let it soak overnight in the pan. In the AM bring to a boil, then simmer for minutes. It needs SALT. And if it boils over, you will need a chisel to get it off the stovetop.

Michele said...

TEN MINUTES. It needs to simmer for 10 minutes. I cant believe I forgot THAT part.

kenandbelly said...

I think McCann's Irish Oatmeal is about 80% as good as steel-cut and it takes only a few minutes to cook. Head and shoulders above regular oatmeal, imho. It always seemed like it was done before I could turn around from making the coffee.

Anne said...

I have some *instant* McCann's that's pretty damn good ... I don't know if it rates as highly as "steel cut" but I'm not sure I've even ever had that ...

I will bring you some instant McCann's when I get back.

vuboq said...

Best. Breakfast. Post. EVER!

*truffle-fucking-risotto smooches*

I'm not crazy, just well mixed! said...

I love oatmeal. I would love to try steel-cut oatmeal. I will not cook it for myself if it involves anything more than hitting a few buttons on the microwave. Feel free to bring me some.

Violet said...

I would be shocked to death if there was not some American manufacturer who has produced instant steel-cut oatmeal (whatever that is)

Tracey said...

I wonder what the other kind of oatmeal is cut with?? Plastic?