Everything in Moderation

Hypothetical: Let’s say you have a friend who has taken up a new hobby.

Let’s say it is golf.

He picked up the game recently, and now he is completely obsessed. He spends an hour at the driving range every day before work, juggling responsibilties and having a completely hectic morning because of it.

He plays a round after work, so is never available for happy hours or other socializing. He cuts out of late meetings right at quitting time so he can get to the course in time. He has even taken a second job at a pro shop where he works on the weekends and late into the night - doing inventory and cleaning the bathrooms - in order to get rebates on the best equipment. He occasionally shows up at very special events, but only if he is given enough notice and can find someone to take his shift at the shop.

He can’t hold a conversation without mentioning golf. He talks non-stop about great shots he has seen or made or almost made. He carries around pictures of courses he has played.

Recently, he has gone over the edge. He took a three-month leave of absence to try to qualify for the Tour. He confided in you that he practices his swing every three or four hours, even waking up at night to make sure he doesn’t lose his muscle memory.

You would worry about him, right?

I mean you would really, really worry about him. Maybe you would even confront him, try to help him get a little perspective. Set his priorities straight.

I believe that in general, everything in moderation is good. Whether it is sweets or red meat or video games or booze, a little won’t hurt you, but too much is probably not a good plan.

I've discovered that you can’t parent in moderation.

If I spent as much time with tequila as I do my children, my liver would be the size of a watermelon. If I thought about tequila when I wasn't with it, and talked about it constantly, I would check myself into rehab.

Yet no one stages interventions for people who have taken up parenting as their sole leisure-time activity. No one shakes you by the shoulders and questions your sanity when you mention you have to wake up every four hours or so to tend to a newborn. In fact, people ask about your children and even tolerate pictures and stories. They share their own. They write blogs about their experiences and read yours.

I wonder if that's healthy.