Friday, September 30, 2011

Toilet Humor. Kind of.

An ad on the Washington Post website told me that Kohler has a new potty. It looks like this.
According to the website, it literally wipes your ass for you. Plays music, warms the seat, lifts the seat, lowers the seat, etc. etc. etc.

Now, I realize that marketing artsy photos are not meant to depict real life, but am I really supposed to believe these pictures? (Photos taken from the Kohler website)

It's a POTTY. Right out there in the middle of the room, in full view of God, Oprah, and the entire city of Los Angeles. How is that supposed to work?

I can't even go if there's someone in the stall next to me.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

There Oughta Be a Law - Or at Least an Advance Notice of Proposed Rulemaking

Anyone who has read more than three sentences on this blog knows how I feel about profanity: I curse a lot. I even curse in my head; I often find myself sanitizing my words before I speak or write them. Really.

I understand that coarse language can be offensive, so I don't mind hearing an occasional bleep on the federally regulated airwaves.

But honestly, FCC, can we do something about the sound of sirens or horns on the radio? Broadcasters, can we apply a little self-regulation? Like many people, I listen to the radio in my car. When I hear a horn or siren, I don't immediately assume it's coming from my speakers. I eventually realize that a producer or reporter intentionally put those sounds into a recorded radio piece, and let me just say: STOP THAT THIS INSTANT.

At least warn me that it's coming, radio host, so I don't start looking for a place to pull over.

Note to Armando Trull, intrepid reporter from my local public radio station: You're effing killing me, dude. Knock it the heck off. (See? Self-regulation. It's easy!*)

*The normal filthy cursing you have come to expect from me will resume momentarily.